A Living Example

Carl is a living example of a man who has cultivated the habit of makingcharitable judgments. Although he is a long-time friend and we agree on mostthings, we have occasionally disagreed on significant issues. Yet, I havealways felt completely free to speak frankly about my opinions, even when itis apparent that Carl holds a very different view. Why? I think it isbecause I have never once felt judged or condemned by Carl. Even when hethinks I hold a wrong view or am guilty of sin, he has never said a word,used a tone of voice, or given me a look that indicates he condemns me orthinks less of me.

On the contrary, I always feel that he makes an earnest effort to understandmy views, to find any legitimacy in them, and to reexamine his own beliefsin the light of our disagreement. Even when he has confronted me about mysin, I have felt a pervading sense of love and encouragement, notcondemnation. And more than once I have heard that he gave me the benefit ofthe doubt when others spoke ill of me. Nor does he limit his charity to me.Even when I judge or speak critically of others to Carl, he refuses to playthe game, even if that person has made his life difficult.

Carl treats others with a remarkable uniformity. Whether people treat himwell or poorly, whether they agree with him or not, whether they advance hisgoals or block them, he has a habit of believing the best about them andresisting the temptation to find fault in them. Instead of breathingjudgment, like some people I know, Carl continually breathes grace. As aresult, people are drawn to him. They feel safe sharing their opinions,questions, and weaknesses around him, without fear of being judged. As Carllooks for the best in people, many of them (including me) are inspired tolive up to his charitable opinion of them. As a result, the more time peoplespend with him, the more they grow in faith and character.

By God's grace, Carl is imitating the charitable attitude of our Lord JesusChrist. When Jesus spoke with the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well, she wasdrawn to Him (John 4). Although she was guilty of great sin, she felt safein His presence and did not fear condemnation. Jesus looked for the best inher, and she was inspired to change. As a result, she brought glory to God.

This is the effect I would like to have on people around me. I'm sure youwould, also. If God can enable Carl to imitate Jesus by making charitablejudgments, He can do it for us. Starting today, let's ask Him to inspire usand enable us always to believe the best about others until we have facts toprove otherwise.

Help Me to Judge Rightly

Lord, help me to judge others
as I want them to judge me:
Charitably, not critically,
Privately, not publicly,
Gently, not harshly,
In humility, not pride.

Help me to believe the best about others,
until facts prove otherwise-
To assume nothing,
to seek all sides of the story,
And to judge no one until I've removed
the log from my own eye.

May I never bring only the Law,
to find fault and condemn.
Help me always to bring the Gospel,
to give hope and deliverance,
As you, my Judge and Friend,
have so graciously done for me.

Ken Sande is the President of Peacemaker Ministries and is the author ofnumerous resources on conflict resolution. www.peacemaker.net